I’ve always been fairly open with most people in my life. There are some that I feel I can be more open about than others in concerns with certain subjects. But one thing that I’ve realized is that no matter how hard I try, nobody has known every part of me.
What I mean by that is there are very few friends that I can be truthful to about sexuality. There’s such a stigma that what happens should be kept hush hush. Or that if you sleep with so many people that you’re a slut and it’s even worse if you have an innocent one night stand with someone.
There’s no one who should be concerned about another’s sex life, unless of course the person who is having sex feels unsafe in any situation and needs someone to help get them out of that situation.
But what I’m getting at here is instead of belittling our friends because of their sexual encounters, why not ask the awkward things; like how it was (of course you have to start with this), if their partner respected them, do they think that they’d sleep with that person again, did it help or harm the relationship in any way, etc.
Don’t just automatically shoot down hearing about a friends sexual encounter because it’s something that’s not talked about publicly. Let’s put the sexual shame behind us because if we’re not sex positive, we’re allowing people to feel horrible for doing something that is only natural. If we don’t allow a conversation to flow about this, we’re allowing questions and concerns to go unanswered which isn’t fair nor right.
So let it be me that opens the floodgates to having an open discussion about sexuality.
Q: Have you ever felt unsafe in a sexual encounter?