I’ll Admit It 

I have faults. We all do. Sometimes we let those faults cloud our vision. Sometimes we’re just fed up with nothing changing so we try to ignore it but it doesn’t go away like we hoped it would. 

Sometimes those faults just come to a head at the worst possible time. When you really needed someone there. When you thought you could rely on them being there and being on time for once. Following through with something because you really needed them to pull through, just once, just this once. But instead you get let down and you’re hurt, rightfully so. Alas, it still doesn’t take away the fact that it may be a flaw.

What we can do is talk about our flaws. Figure out how to communicate better so that our flaws don’t have to be so prevalent. Sometimes, we can work things out so things will work for the better. 

I feel like I am writing this in such a cryptic way. Maybe if I put it in laymans terms it’ll make more sense, but I don’t want to air out that dirty laundry. I want to just take ownership of the mini-fight, misunderstanding, whatever you want to call it, learn from it and move on. 

The more that we dwell on things the more we seem to over analyze and blow the whole problem out of proportion. 

Tyler and I need to work on our communication, it’s always been something we’ve been needing to work on, but it continuously gets put on the back burner because sometimes we have good communication, other times it’s so-so and in terms of our “night in” falling completely apart and me not even remotely letting on that I was upset until I was crying in the bathroom of our apartment, our communication was absolute shit. 

My classic flaw is I’m afraid to speak. Sometimes I’m impossible to shut up other times, like tonight, I don’t say anything because I think it’s petty, yet I still end up hurt and don’t want to offend anyone so I try to bottle it up. 
It never benefits anyone bottling that up. And I need to accept that sometimes I need to speak my mind, however annoyed and petty it may seem because bottling things up and keeping them to myself can only potentially make things worse. 

Oh life. 

You are going to do some really stupid and mean things in the name of love. Don’t be so hard on yourself when things don’t turn out. You are a good person that loved deeply. Anybody worth having will know that hurting someone is not showing someone who you really are. You’re a sensitive person that showed the depth of your love, by the depth of your pain. Fairytale love will show you only one face. Real love will show you as many faces as it takes to get you to see how much that person really wanted you in their life. – Shannon L. Alder 

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