Well, this isn’t the post I wanted to write, but it’s one I need to just to clear my mind.

The last couple of days have been rough. To the point where I just feel like I could cry at the drop of a dime. Between the uncertainty of my Grandpa’s health, the guilt I’m harboring of not visiting him more often though I knew this day would come sooner rather than later.. It just hasn’t exactly been the easiest.

Knowing that sometime soon his health will completely fail.. though the exact day we won’t know until it happens. He’s been dealing with rheumatoid arthritis for years, then back in late July or even early August he fell at the cottage. That started all the health discoveries, like a spot of cancer on a lung, to undergoing chemotherapy to stop that spot of cancer from spreading (thankfully it didn’t prior to the scan). But because of his weakened immune system and the fact that he is hospitalized right now, I’m really worried… rightfully so.

I wrote a longer post about it yesterday on the other blog, it’s a little more in depth, a little more raw… A little more emotional. But all I can do is hope that when I’m on vacation this week that nothing changes other than him getting better.

But things are rough mentally, just thinking about this is a little more stifling that I’d like to admit. What can I do though? Thankfully my family knows I tried to visit him yesterday but do to the state that he was in yesterday they suggested not to.

It stinks, but it is what it is, right?
Also, this song has been on repeat lately…along with 00000 Million

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