Tonight I just need to write. Just word vomit. Get things said and out there and be done. 

Today we buried my grandpa. It was glorious but it hit like a bag of bricks. Many things were said, but many recent events went unmentioned because well, we don’t want those words to cover up the glory and the grace that was my Grandpa’s life. 

It was nice having the entire family back for this, though I would pray that no one would miss it for the world. 

There were lots of things said today that when I look at it now, I can see myself in those words. Those about loving nature and doing just about anything to be out in it. What cracks me up is no one mentioned his job, it wasn’t his pride and joy…. it wasn’t what he was known for. And that’s what I need to remember right now. Our life isn’t dictated by our jobs, our roles, it’s what we make from it. 

He was so stubborn and known for his glorious woodworking that he made himself an urn to be buried in. Yes, you read that right. 

My uncle with the urn

But there are many other things that I’ll remember my grandpa for. Some that I really think were melodramas played out within my family post divorce. Other things will make me crack up for a while because, well, they’re good zingers that I want to remember. 

But this whole event, in the rough of it all, brought my cousin Emily and I closer together. She’ll be leaving Monday for a 3 month ranger job at Crater Lake NP and I’m incredibly proud of her for finding a way in life. Though it took a bit of doing what she “should do” to figure out that it wasn’t what she wanted to do. 

Anyways, besides that, it was just nice catching up with everyone and walking the black walnut plantation. 

It still hurts, and it will for a while. But this pain will subside and the memories, those will stick around. 

I wish to be remembered for half the things that he was. I wish to affect nearly as many people as he did. And I hope that my future generations hold onto as many traits as we seemed to.

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