It’s been just a few days over a month since my Grandpa passed. It doesn’t seem like it. It seems like the days just picked up speed again, it’s like I slowed down to get off the highway when the funeral happened and now it’s like I’m back on the highway speeding life away again. 

My step-grandma is moving to Colorado. She was on a waiting list for an apartment even before my Grandpa passed, that upset me, a lot. Mostly because even before he was gone she was acting like he already was. I still think that’s the hardest part about all of this. Seeing her so numb to the pain we’ve experienced. I wonder if she’s unaware that her blunt words strike us all like a dull knife does a body; painfully.  

But other than that I’m doing okay. This holiday season is like an awkward dance for me where I’m not sure if I should be thankful for what I have currently or thankful for those who I’ve had in my life. It’s been a whirlwind of a year and in some parts of it I felt so lost. Where anything I did didn’t feel as it should. But that happens. 

 But this last month has brought about a lot of reflection and what I want out of life and keeping in touch with family. It is what it is right now. 

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