Well, it has been weird.
Ive been okay with barely posting on instagram and not diving deep with captions.
I’ve been writing more down in journals and writing goals like a fiend to all things attainable. For example, celebrating the small things like making double payments on my car loan and making it a goal to finish painting rooms and tearing down wallpaper in the kitchen.
Outside of all of that, life has been a little off. Last week I was in constant worry about going home and worrying that it would be the last time I’d see my Grandma. But she looks much the same as July just way more labored breathing. And I know that can change since she’s not going to do her iron shots anymore for her anemia. Her anemia is caused by her lungs having decreased function and her red blood cells don’t all get filtered out of her lungs again. So her rate of red blood cell turnover and death is high which in turn makes her feel like shit because she doesn’t have enough RBC’S in her body to supply her adequately with enough oxygenated blood. Thus is the life with COPD. I could tell that she was upset with not being home and I get that being in the rehab care facility is what she needs right now. Most assisted living places don’t offer what her current place offers (hello, welcome to the northwoods). And it’s sad that it’s come to this but it gives us all a little peace of mind. Though I am worried about her wellbeing. Not even going to lie about that. I feel like mentally she’s getting worn down, though I hope that I am wrong in that regard.
Anyways, going home last weekend was needed. Did a little bit of hiking and exploring along the way. It snowed, totally worth it.
So, basically, life isn’t the easiest and what’s been going on is just emotionally draining, sadly. But this is the season of life I’m at where there’s more hustle and bustle than calmness.